For a long time during the years I suffered from depression, I would try different ways to help me feel better. I noticed when there was a life change I would start the grief cycle all over again which meant that my depression would get worse during that cycle as well. Then I started to think that maybe more people had similar experiences to how my rat race cycle as well.
One day, after attending a funeral (which took me a long time to go to another one after my spouse had passed) I had this weird thought. I thought, “Who would go to my funeral?” I noticed all these people at the services, which most of them I knew, and realized that they would probably be at my funeral, too. I am not sure if people think of those things but it almost made me feel better. It was good to know that people would be sad if I was gone.
When depression hits us we get tricked by our brain into thinking that we are alone in this world. That no one will care if you are gone. That is why suicide is so hard on us, our loved one really think we’d be better off without them and then they are gone. So, when I would start having those thoughts, I think about all the people who I have met that would go to my funeral. I start re-realize how many people care about me.
Change is the law of life, and those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future – John F. Kennedy
In the past few weeks I have been going through this Grief workbook to help me develop my skills to work with clients going through grief and a part in the workbook you have someone write their eulogy. I almost found that extreme but then I realized – We all have a legacy to give and if we allow our grief get in the way of our legacy then what do we leave behind? Who would come to our funeral?
Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don‘t hurt them. – Dalai Lama
With so much pain that grief brings us it is hard to always see the good. If we can see how we are loved and that we still have more to give the world, then maybe our “recovery” will help others in need.